Love Lasts Read online

  Love

  Lasts

  SAVANNAH TOTTEN

  Copyright © 2019 Savannah Totten

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN: 9781699413456

  DEDICATION

  To Kendall

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Thank you to my husband, Kendall, for creating this story with me. Without you, this book wouldn't be a possibility. Thank you to my friends and family who supported and encouraged me in enormous ways throughout this whole process. Thank you to my beta readers: Molly, Amelia, Rachel, and Hannah. You ladies honestly helped me to turn this book into something that makes sense, and my book wouldn't be what it is without your feedback. Special thank you to Molly, though. You let me bounce ideas off of you. You helped me make so many decisions, and you were basically my personal hype girl throughout the whole process. Thank you endlessly. And lastly, thank you to each character in this book--you know who you are--for making this dream possible.

  CHAPTER 1

  The classroom clock ticks obnoxiously loud. My foot bounces up and down faster than the ticking, but I don’t really notice. Picking at my nail polish keeps me preoccupied, while Mr. Hoss teaches another lesson on AP Physics.

  A few kids scribble furiously in their notes, writing down Mr. Hoss’ every word, and a couple others watch him like he’s telling them the meaning to life. I occasionally glance around at my peers, wondering how this topic keeps their interest. It likely doesn't. They need to pay attention in order to pass this advanced level class, but I don’t.

  While science bores me to death, I chose to take an advanced class to keep up my GPA. Now, I’m seriously regretting it. Once all my nail polish is horribly chipped, I pull out a pen and doodle around the edges of my notes instead.

  The person sitting in front of me starts to snore, and a loud thump from his book falling off his desk wakes him. Everyone turns to watch him pick it up off the floor, and his cheeks turn pink.

  At the front of class, Mr. Hoss frowns but turns back to finish his lesson. Another five minutes of excruciating boredom passes, and the dismissal bell finally rings.

  My classmates jump out of their seats and run for the door, wasting no time. I remain in my seat, though, gathering my books and listening to Mr. Hoss remind us to turn in our online homework by midnight. Even though I’m happy class is over, I don’t want to be rude. When Mr. Hoss finishes talking, he lets out a sigh and begins erasing his front board. I join my peers and head out the classroom door.

  As I walk through the halls to my locker, pieces of separate conversations make it to my ear.

  “Sammy told me that her and Pablo broke up. Apparently, he…”

  “Didn’t you hear that terrible music on the radio this morning?”

  “I think Drake is having some midlife crisis…”

  “Hey, Penelope,” someone says behind me. Part of me wants to ignore it or pretend it wasn’t meant for me, but I know he’s talking to me. My heartbeat quickens, and I swallow hard. Then, I turn and give him my best fake smile. Luke jogs towards me to catch up, and I begin to walk again in the direction of my locker, wanting nothing more than to disappear.

  “Hi, Luke,” I say. His eyes burn into the side of my face, and my chest constricts, forcing me to focus on my breathing. I quicken my pace, hoping he’ll see that I’m not in the mood to talk, but he picks up speed too.

  “I didn’t see you on Sunday,” Luke says. He towers over me, trapping me in this conversation whether I like it or not. He stands so close that he might as well be breathing down my neck, and chills run down my arms. I try to keep a straight face and a cool composure, despite the anxiety running through me.

  “I scheduled off,” I say. We reach my locker, and I fumble with the lock a few times before finally opening it. I drop my AP Physics notes into my backpack and pick up my AP Calculus notes without taking a second glance at Luke. He leans his shoulder against the locker next to mine and faces me.

  “Well, when do you work next?” He asks. I don’t even have to look at him to know he’s watching my every move, and I suddenly feel incredibly self-conscious. This is excruciating.

  “Friday,” I say and close my locker. We make eye contact, and I’m close enough to see the different shades of blue in his iris. I take a step back and look away.

  “Hey,” someone says, as an arm loops through my own. My best friend, Lin, comes into view, and she furrows her brow. Her eyes dart quickly between Luke and me, and Luke takes a step back. He rubs the back of his neck with one hand and looks at the floor.

  “Well, I’ll see you later then,” Luke says. I don’t reply but watch him walk back the way we came, only turning to look back at me once.

  “You just saved me,” I say to Lin when he’s out of earshot. She raises her eyebrows at me and looks down the hall toward Luke.

  “Who,” she asks, “was that?”

  My entire composure loosens, knowing I’m safe with Lin. Lin and I became best friends back in sixth grade. We sat next to each other in Spanish class and often got in trouble for passing notes. I honestly think our bond was instantaneous because of how short we both are. Throughout middle school and high school, we’ve remained the same height, while everyone around us grew to be much taller. Plus, we used to live in the same neighborhood, allowing us quick and easy access to hang out whenever we wanted. Lin knows me better than anyone, and I believe that’s how she knew I needed her to come save me right then.

  “His name is Luke. I’ve been meaning to tell you about him, but you’ve been a bit MIA,” I say, untwisting our arms. We walk in the direction of my calculus class, trading glances and weaving through the overcrowded hallways.

  “I haven’t felt like coming to school lately,” Lin says. Her purple hair sits in a messy bun on top of her head, and I glance down at the dog-hair-covered sweatpants she’s wearing that obviously break the dress code. We almost look like two peas in a pod with my unstylish bootleg jeans and black sweatshirt. But her look tells me she’s been wearing the same clothes for days, and while I know what that means, I don’t push the topic any further.

  “Well,” I pause for emphasis, “Luke and I work together at the movie theater. I didn’t like him at first because he has a horrible work ethic. He just jokes around all the time, but the other day, he asked me for my number‒”

  “You gave him your number!” Lin exclaims, causing a few people around us to turn and glare. I look down and push a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “No. I mean, yes. I gave him my number, but it was because he needed me to send him the schedule one week. I didn’t plan on talking to him at all, but then the next minute, he was texting me constantly. Literally, he’s been texting me nonstop for the past week, and you know, he’s actually been nice. He compliments me and stuff, but I found out something this weekend,” I say, and Lin’s eyes widen. I almost don’t want to admit it, but the words fall out anyways.

  “Apparently, Luke told someone at work that he loves me.”

  Lin’s jaw drops, and then she grins.

  “No way,” she says, still smiling from ear to ear. Her excitement makes my stomach ache with nerves because she obviously doesn't understand the situation. We reach my calculus class and lean up against a nearby wall.

  “He’s obsessed with me. It’s like Will all over again,” I state. Lin’s smile drops into a frown.

  “Wait, really? It’s that bad?” She asks. I nod.

  This guy named Will obsessed over me for years, asking me out dozens of times, texting me tons of unwanted messages, walking with me to classes we didn’t have together, and telling me and other people that he loved me. He spiked my anxiety so bad last year that I felt unsafe in school. I had to tell him to stay away from me, to not text me, to not talk to me in sch
ool, and to not even look at me. That may seem harsh, but it wasn’t. Thinking about Will makes me nauseous, and Lin knows all of this, including all the nitty-gritty details.

  “It’s not that bad yet, but it’s definitely a problem. Who says they love someone after only talking to them for a week? He barely even knows me.” Lin shakes her head and looks up at the passing period countdown timer. There’s only a minute left to get to class.

  “I’m probably going to be late to class, but we’ll talk about this later. Okay?” She says, ignoring my last comment.

  “Okay,” I say and start to walk toward the door of my class. I turn around to say something else, but Lin is already gone, walking around the corner to her own class. So I walk into calculus and find my seat among mostly seniors.

  Finally, I’ll be able to quiet my mind. Unlike most people, math can be my happy place because it requires all parts of my brain to be successful. There’s no room for wandering thoughts unless I want to mess up a problem. So I gladly open my notes and start on the bell ringer, pushing away any and all thoughts that don’t help me solve these math problems.

  An hour later, my brain feels like mush after trying to remember the differences between derivatives and integrals, but calculus is finally over. When the dismissal bell rings, I walk out of class and towards the cafeteria for lunch.

  Over two thousand students change classes at once, and their voices crash into each other. They walk around me like bumper cars, skimming my shoulders and knocking into my arms. It takes a lot of willpower not to give each of them a dirty look, but I stare straight ahead. There are only three more periods to get through before I can go home.

  Once I’m in the cafeteria, I head straight to the line to get my food. The line already snakes out and around a few tables, and two girls sneak in towards the front near their friend. A cafeteria lady notices, though, and tells them to go to the back of the line. The noise builds, as hundreds of students pack into the cafeteria and talk to their friends. I wait patiently, trying to decide between a cheeseburger and greasy french fries or a slice of equally greasy pizza.

  I choose the hamburger and fries and thank the cafeteria ladies, who smile and move on to the next person in line. With my tray of food in hand, I head straight out of the cafeteria, ignoring the looks of the teacher on lunch duty.

  The hallway is emptier now. A girl walks out of the bathroom, and she mumbles something under her breath when she sees that she only has 20 seconds to get to class. A boy who I’ve seen once before sprints down the hallway, and cold air whips my face and blows my hair behind me. A teacher yells at him to slow down. I turn the corner and walk upstairs to the place I’ve eaten lunch all year.

  “Hi, Penelope,” Miss Brenning says when I walk into her class.

  “Hi,” I say, walking to my usual seat. I had Miss Brenning for English as a freshman and sophomore, so she allows me to eat in her class during her prep period. Really, she allows anyone to eat in her class as long as they’re not too loud and disruptive. I’m the least of her worries. I put in my earbuds and turn on my latest music obsession, Russ, letting his smooth voice sing over my thoughts.

  A few underclassmen walk into Miss Brenning’s room with their lunches, but they sit on the opposite side of the class and only talk to each other. I stare down at my phone and spend the rest of lunch eating my greasy cafeteria food in peace.

  ✦✦✦

  “How was your day?” Mom asks me when she gets home from work. I’m the first of five others she will ask that question to.

  I don’t know yet if it was a blessing or a curse to be born into a family with four other siblings, but today, it feels like a curse. My younger brothers, Keagan and Alec, have been arguing since they got home from school. They both want to play video games, but they have to take turns sharing the one PlayStation in their room. Their yelling is giving me a major headache, and I can’t focus on any of my school work.

  “It was fine,” I say. As if on cue, Alec comes running downstairs with Keagan following closely behind. Keagan towers over Alec, who has barely grown since before elementary school. Keagan takes after our dad, while Alec takes after our mom. But they both have the same bright blue eyes, dirty blonde hair, and bad attitudes.

  “Keagan’s turn is up, but he won’t get off,” Alec says. Mom rubs her face and looks at them with a blank stare.

  “I still have 15 minutes,” Keagan says, swiping his long hair from out of his eyes.

  “Go talk to your father about this. I haven’t been home long enough to know who’s been playing for how long,” Mom says. Alec stomps off towards the living room where Dad is sitting and watching TV, and Keagan follows him. The same conversation begins, so I try to tune them out. Mom rolls her eyes.

  “Have they been like that all afternoon?” She asks, taking off her IU Health jacket. She places it on the counter and crosses her arms across her chest.

  “Yep.”

  “Great. You know, they’re going to rot their brains with how much time they spend playing video games,” she says. I nod, even though I’m not sure that’s true.

  “Yeah, well, they’re a lost cause,” I say. Mom only shakes her head.

  “What’s for dinner?” I ask, and Mom sighs again. She walks over to the fridge and opens it, and I peer over her shoulder. The top shelves are lacking, but a huge pot of leftover pasta sits on the bottom shelf. It must be time to go grocery shopping.

  “I don’t know yet. Maybe leftovers,” she says, closing the fridge.

  “Okay.” I walk backward out of the kitchen, turn around, and head upstairs.

  The bright yellow walls of my bedroom invite me in, and I’m suddenly very glad my dad never decided to repaint them. He would probably make them grey, and that couldn’t be more depressing.

  My little sister, Jessica, is asleep in her bed, even though it’s only five o’clock. Her hair lays in blonde knots around her pillow, and a mismatching comforter hangs halfway off the bed. Elementary school must be harder than I remember.

  I shake my head and sit down on my own bed a few feet away from hers, moving a bunch of homework assignments I still have to do. I check my phone. No new messages. No surprise there. My life is so boring. I put my phone face down on my desk and start on my calculus homework.

  By the time dinner is ready, all my homework is finished, and I head downstairs to eat. It’s leftover bowtie alfredo as suspected, and my younger siblings all grunt and moan loudly. My older brother, Kevin, and I only watch them with annoyed stares.

  “Shut up and be grateful you have food to eat at all,” Mom says.

  “I’d rather starve,” Alec says, crossing his arms.

  “Too bad. You’re going to eat what I made you, and you’re going to like it,” Mom says, placing a plate of food in front of him. My siblings and I all sit at the kitchen table, while Mom brings each of us a plate from the microwave. Jessica’s hair stands up in crazy directions like she was electrocuted, and Keagan makes sure she knows it.

  “You look like you got hit by a bus,” he says. She frowns.

  “You look like you got hit by a bus,” she repeats loudly and stands up from her seat. She moves to sit at the end of the table, leaving her plate of food next to Keagan.

  “Would you guys just get along for one minute?” Mom demands, moving Jessica’s plate of food to her new seat. For the rest of dinner, Keagan eats loudly and with his mouth open, while Alec and Jessica complain over and over again.

  I finish my food as fast as possible and go back upstairs to my room without talking to anyone. Even with the door closed, I can hear the three of them arguing, so I put in my earbuds and lay down in bed.

  Russ fills my ears again, but I change it to a playlist mixed of all my current favorite artists. They range from Jon Bellion to J. Cole to Kendrick Lamar, and while that kind of music contradicts what most people would expect me to listen to, I like it. Good rap beats can put me in such a good mood, and good rap lyrics can really move me. After a few songs,
my mind drifts from listening to the music to thinking about today.

  Luke didn’t text me today, which should be a relief, but for whatever reason, it makes me feel alone again. At least Luke talked to me and listened to me. No one does that anymore. Lin is going through something and won’t talk to me about it, so I can’t even rely on her. It’s all so unfair. Maybe I’m meant to be a loner. Maybe I’m better off on my own.

  I pull out my earbuds and turn off my phone, placing them both on my desk. Then, I cover up with my blanket and bring it all the way up to my chin. My thoughts drift, but eventually, I fall asleep.

  CHAPTER 2

  After school on Friday, a nap calls to me.

  I managed to avoid Luke the last few days, but we’re scheduled to work together at the movie theater tonight. So I must mentally prepare myself to be annoyed, bothered, and overwhelmed by his presence.

  The sound of “ocean waves” according to the iPhone alarm system wakes me an hour before my shift starts, and my head pounds when my eyes open. I lay and stare at the designs of my bedroom’s popcorn ceiling, wishing I could stay in the comfort of my bedroom forever.

  But the show must go on, so I rip the covers off and drag myself to the bathroom, kicking and moving pieces of trash and clothes that Jessica left lying all over the floor. My work clothes lay in a neat pile on the counter, and they reek of stale popcorn and butter. I slide on the black jeans that are fading more and more from the washer. Mental note: I need to get a new pair. I rub my eyes and pull my long hair into a low ponytail.

  When I walk downstairs, Kevin is sitting in a chair, wearing the same outfit as me. He looks up at me for only a second before leaning down to tie his shoes.

  Kevin started working at the movie theater about a year and a half ago, and he helped me get hired to work behind concession. Most people are incredibly surprised to learn we’re siblings when we tell them at work, but even more so, they’re surprised that we’re willing to work together.